Why Flat Stomach Goals Feel So Heavy in Black Households

My body isn’t broken -diet culture is 

Let’s Talk About It.

I know I’m not the only one who’s skipped the dumplings at a family gathering… just to feel in control of my stomach.

Or the only one who’s quietly swapped out pap for quinoa, only to be hit with : 

“ so now no longer eat our food”

Trying to eat “healthy” for a flat stomach in a Black household? It’s not just a physical journey. It’s an emotional one — layered with guilt, silent judgment, and a feeling of being caught between wellness and heritage.

The Flat Stomach Fantasy

Like many girls, I grew up thinking a flat tummy was the ultimate goal — a sign that I was doing something right. Social media made it worse: detox teas, “what I eat in a day” videos, and fitness influencers showing off abs like they’re proof of discipline and worth.

So I did the things:

• No bread, no sugar, no dairy
• Drinking lemon water on an empty stomach
• Ab workouts before family dinners

But here’s the part no one tells you — the more I obsessed over a flat stomach, the more distant I felt from the very people I loved.

Not chasing the flat stomach -just fueling a balanced life 

Food is Love — Until You Say No

In Black households, food isn’t just food. It’s tradition. It’s love. It’s “have some more” instead of “I missed you.”

So when I started turning down creamy samp, fried chicken, and even Sunday seven-colour, I didn’t feel proud. I felt like I was rejecting a piece of where I came from.

One time, during a family event in Soweto, my cousin made the best beef stew and dumplings I’d smelled in weeks. But I said no — I had already eaten my meal-prepped grilled chicken. That night I sat in the car and cried. Not because I was hungry, but because I felt like I no longer belonged.

The Weight of It All

Trying to “eat clean” felt good at first. I felt in control. I felt strong. But soon:

• I was hiding the fact that I was hungry at events
• Feeling ashamed for enjoying vetkoeks
• Overthinking every food decision
• Still bloated, still tired, and still not “flat” enough

I was giving up connection, comfort, and joy — just to chase an aesthetic. One I didn’t even enjoy once I had it.

Wellness Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Here’s what I’ve learned — and what I’m still unlearning:

• Bloating is normal
• You can eat chakalaka and still be healthy
• A flat stomach doesn’t mean you’re okay on the inside
• Wellness doesn’t need to erase your culture

Real health is about balance, not punishment. It’s about learning when to say yes to fresh food and when to say yes to family food — without shame.And if you trying to glow up without blowing your budget , don’t miss my post on on Top Skincare Hacks Using Kitchen Ingredients   

So How Do I Balance It Now?

Instead of cutting off my culture, I learned to compromise:

• I eat seven-colour with smaller portions, and balance it with movement I enjoy — not punishment workouts.
• I bring salad to braais and enjoy the chakalaka.
• I focus on how I feel, not just how I look.
• I listen to my gut, not guilt.

And honestly? I’m healthier than when I was starving for abs.

My energy is up. My skin is clearer. My period is regular again. And the best part? I can laugh at the dinner table without feeling like I’m doing something wrong.

⚠️ 

Disclaimer:

This post is based on personal experience and cultural observations. It is not intended as medical advice. Always speak to a qualified health or nutrition professional before making major lifestyle or dietary changes.

Let’s Chat — Have You Felt This Pressure Too?

I’d love to know — have you ever felt judged or out of place trying to eat “healthy” in a cultural household? Or maybe you’ve found a way to blend your wellness goals with your roots?

Drop a comment, share with a friend, or post it to your story if it hit home ❤️👇

Let’s talk about real wellness — not just what looks good on Instagram.